Thursday, 7 October 2010

draft script

Draft Script
Page 1
Page split into a few panels, a splash image will take up the lower half of the page.
PANEL 1, boy at dinner table asking mom if he can go to his friends tonight?
PANEL 2, shows mom saying its fine, is he sure he’ll be okay? (boy a little bit of a wimp)
PANEL 3, close of boys face not looking impressed at mom undermining him, narrative saying “yeh yeh mom, im not bovad” poor grammer used to show boys age.
PANEL 4, mom in foreground doing washing or something says “welll your just usually so nervous that’s all.” door slamming in background as boy leaves
SPLASH, shot off the back of boy looking down a street into the distance. Whole street drew very over the top spookily as seen through the eyes of the nervous boy. Splash carries up and is shown behing the other panels.
Page 2
Page split into 3rds top 3rd five panels
PANEL 1, boy stopped dead in street looking past camera
PANEL 2,shot behind boys head. Dark silhouettes in distance
PANEL 3,boy in forground looking at floor. 4 figures in mid grround looking at him. The all appear very demonic/ intimidating, thought bubble saying “almost at the bus, walk don’t run, walk don’t run!”)
Words dotted in panel “don’t look”
PANEL 4, shot from behind one of the figures. Now looks like normal teenager. Small figure of scared boy running off into distance. Large words spelling run coming from him. Now normal teen saying “strange kid”
Next 3rd 3 panels
PANEL 1, boy skids to a halt at bus stop saying “oh no!” on right off panl see large fence with growls and barks coming from over it.
PANEL 2, large monstrous dog rearing over fence. Mouth wide open
PANEL 3, large red bus now in shot, high angeld view, see speech of boy saying “return ticket please” garden with dog in it and rest of strret in background.
Final 3rd 6 panels
PANEL 1, long thin panel stretching from one side of page to the other. Shows long road. Bus at far right side showing its been travelling
PANEL 2, (start of 5 rectangular panels lined up next to each ther going subject to subject. No speech in any of them.) mother figure opens door to boy.
PANEL 3, 2 boys playing console games. Controllers in hand
PANEL 4, boys eating pizza
PANEL 5, telling ghost stories with torch
PANEL 6, boy waving bye to friend at front door again
Page 3
Page split into 4 sections top 1/4 contains 3 panels
PANEL 1,boy standing in rain waiting for bus trees look very spooky in background, narrative in panel “thank god the bus is finally here
PANEL 2, shot from inside driver cabin. Boy holding up return ticket other side of glass. Seems glad to be safe on bus.
PANEL 3, boy sitting relaxed upstairs on bus. On window seat alone. Dark large figure looming in background
Next ¼ has 1 panel and a large splash image next to it
PANEL 1, same image as before of boy but suddenly large menacing figure sitting next to him,.
SPLASH, extreme close up of boys face looking very scared. And shocked, large font underneath “just give me the bag.
Next ¼ has 3 panels
PANEL 1, dark image. Words pow and smack in there. Paying homage to old comics.
PANEL 2, boy outside of bus doors with head down and slightly bloody nose. Narrative not in bubble but next to boy “humph, told him there was nothing in it”
PANEL 3, dark street scene lit up by street lamps boy walking down streets in silhouette narrative saying “I mean you gota be desperate to pick on a kid half your age”
Next ¼ 2 panels
PANEL 1, boy on street he was on earlier. Dog in front drive but way smaller and less menacing compared to before. Narrative “should have just stayed in”
PANEL 2, street stretched out into distance high angled shot. Boys playing football in horizon. Narrative “cant wait to get home, what a night”
Page 4
First top ¼ of page 1 wide panel into splash ½ of page then 2 panels at the bottom ¼
PANEL 1, four young teenagers from earlier asking if boys okay. He replies hes fin etc.
SPLASH, close up of boy walking down street that was very scary before. Looks very normal now. Face a little bruised but smiling kind of.
PANEL 2, boy getting in home and handing his bag up mom calls from living room “im glad your home dear. I was getting worried plus im so nervous about work tomorrow. Everyone seems to be getting cut”
PANEL 3,boy sitting on sofa with mom cureld up. She still hasn’t seen his face. They watch telly. And boy says “well its never as bad as you think mom. I’m sure you’ll be fine”


Chiu said...

you've got a real social story in your narrative which can evoke some serious reflection on our society - or you can make it like the Beano and make it more like "the local whimp get's his own back"

Still interesting starting point for you to work from!

leemerricks1987 said...

yeh, im not thinking beano style. i know it looks cartoony at the mo. but thats just what my quick drawings like. i like the social idea but i was thinking i want the main moral to be more of a coming of age thing. thats why i skiped out the mugging scence and wanted to consentrate on the contrast between the journey out and the journey back. when the only thin g that changed with the main character was that he had been in a very intense situation. any ideas how i could emphasize my message? i.e differnt dialog or ending? thanks