Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Uncompleted Rise of the Supermarket!!!

So I personified a supermarket to highlight the problems they bring to communities. That is the basis of my story and I thought it was strong enough idea so i just made it up as I went along. This did create some problems and in future I'll try and plan stuff out better. I haven't put any text in yet and its missing a few pages.


myeyeisonfire said...

on the whole I like 90 percent of it: The metamorphosis of our treasured street shops into a corporate monster, spewing it's disease out like the late evening drunks.

What I don't get is the large spaces of black above, and I don't understand the function of the two smaller panels on the second page?
I'd also like the spew-age to be more recognizable as the junk we buy.

I'd love to see the originals

which Dan are you?

myeyeisonfire said...

it is however uncompleted :)

Danup1 said...

the black spaces at the top are going to be: the title on the left and writing on the right.
I agree with the panels on the second page being out of place. I suppose I could photoshop them out and redo them. stickin more junk food in there shouldn't be an issue either.
thanks for the advice.
this is Dan Griffin-Hayes.

MurrayMah said...

I like the transitions and the concept comes nicely, what I think would make it even better is spending more time defining more detail as chiu has said, I'm less concerned about the content but more the forms, when you see the composition of all the stuff leaking out of the building it loses alot of the sharp quality that you've shown in the drawing up until this point, which is a shame as its the climax? It by no means doesnt look good, with more refining it could look great! One method I use in compositions like that is I pencil particular forms i really want to stand out, if your like me you probably can't be arsed to pencil everything, but a few blocked in lines help guide you to help focus what you want to stand out!