Saturday, 30 May 2009

Oh Deer! 4-page version..




*cz of the different quality of the scans i needed to do some photoshop editing and sacrifice some of the line details

4 comments:

myeyeisonfire said...

okay! So no one wants to comment! Okay here goes!

The following is a very strong and critical comment on the development of work by yourself and at least two or three others who work for ink soup.

I will make this point again (because this has been mentioned before) that developing the design of your narratives does not mean simply cutting and pasting to shorten or lengthen the story, but should be a carefully considered re-design whereby the important point is, is the story still as effective, if not more effective - did you consider the pace, and the structure of the story - how do you want your audience to feel??

left-handed osi-cat said...

well i did considerd the pace so i made the pages becoming crowdy with illustrations/actions as the story goes which is the deer's frustration to get away and ended up making that failed jump..whether that causes the audience's sypmathy or entertainment(well in ur case!)
i specifically did the pages like that so are balanced as spreads.
but guess that kinda failed..but to admit i considered it to be just a side project so i didnt want to spend more time on it than i should (which i did anw)

MurrayMah said...

I think the one specific criticism that lets you down niovi is the layout. Hand drawn panels are fine (to say they're not would make me a huge hypocrite) but you have to decide how you're going to use it? The boxed off corners look awkward as they feel like they're cutting into the big image rather than working with it? I think it's a case of you allow yourself to feel more free and confident to plan and then go with hand drawn panels, or go with more tight,measured, structured panels in a traditional sense.

I've realised I'm rambling abit, but it's all constructive as I' can relate, I've had, and still do, had problems in perfecting how to make fluid layouts. I hope this helps! I enjoyed the concept and images!

left-handed osi-cat said...

yea u re right..well i ll work on it again after monday when i ll be more relaxed to work on it..
thnx for the com :)