Ok I'm confident that this story actually makes sense now - and that the drawings have improved! In my mind theres still lots of improvements and things to be learned in the way I use this particular media (ink pen) to do my storyboards but I think its getting there!
I'm not happy with the 4th panel on the 3rd page - from viewing it on the screen the perspective looks completely wrong so am going to return to that and re - do again!
I have another story to ink so hopefully that one will be even better! Please let me know what you think, thanks.
4 comments:
Hi ed- Your storyboard compositions and sequences are clear and easy to read, I can follow the chain of events no problem. The problem I do have though is with shots like panel 3 page 2 with odd black backgrounds, as if I was a director I would be confused to what this would mean as it's not an obvious depiction between dramatic effect or a direction of lighting? Don't get me wrong I think overall as a storyboard the elements are there, but you should be wary of how some things can be interpreted? Hope you find this constructive
I've still got huge problems with this - as a storyboard it's passable, but I would expect filming notations for the producer and his team.
As a graphic short story, I'm just not inspired by the drawing or story, but to be more constructive, the problem lies in the following.
the style you are working with in pen, kind of falls in the realistic, figure drawing style of classic dc comics. yes, there are published artists that I cringe at, but for you to excel, you really need to work really hard at "understanding anatomy & perspective".
The other solution is to develop your own visual language, which you began doing with your pencil drawings. Now you can do this with ink, but I think you still have a fair way to go before it gets as distinctive as the work you produced before.
Stories, are no where near as interesting as your previous ones either.
best,
chiu
I think you could also learn from Murray, in that he can completely scrap an idea, and toy around with another that he may also have in the back of his mind. It's very frustrating to keep seeing you insist everytime on slight modifications, whether it's film, storyboard, or graphic stories, instead of sometimes standing right back and approaching from a completely different angle - more lateral thinking as opposed to incremental adjustments.
thanks for the comments guys,
I've rang the uni and trying to get info on life drawing classes which I know i'll def benefit from.
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