Redraft of 'Revelations'

A revised version of the first page I submitted previously. I am currently working on the second.

I have simplified the story and removed a lot of the unnecessary fluffiness.

Better?

A Revelation

Be gentle it's my first time ;P

First two pages - Chiu I have made a few alterations as discussed, decided to take out the character in the final frame as he was not really adding anything to the narrative.