I see your derranged sense of humour hasn't left you!!! I really like the panel compositions of the 2nd and 4th page - really effective. Not sure whether the 3rd page is slightly too busy and needs a bit more space for the images to have more impact.
Hey Chiu! In terms of content, I'm not sure how cohesive you want the narrative to be, I mean there is definitely a device of narrative here, haha just not very easy to follow, which I guess is fine if you want us to put a bit of ourselves into it, haha I can think of quite a few funny things going on here! Disagreeing with Ed, I think the 3rd page especially is very interesting in terms of sequential layout, It's a lovely mixture of your haphazard approach with panel conventions. Really like it! In terms of constructive crit, the snags are pages like the first one, which when compared to the rest doesn't seem as interesting or as articulate in moving the story. I think this is down to the following 3 pages having a strong vertical panel layout? Haha wow I've made this sound bull shitty, but I hope you realise what I'm trying to say! It's really interesting to see you pushing out from your normal narrative approach into panels like this.
hahaha! Thanks to both of you for an interesting analysis. The first page is not the first page - sorry, a bit misleading on my part - so far there are 16 pages found here:http://www.myeyeisonfire.net/royalWeb/I loved this bit:"I mean there is definitely a device of narrative here, haha just not very easy to follow, which I guess is fine if you want us to put a bit of ourselves into it, haha I can think of quite a few funny things going on here!"which thankfully confirms my desire to have the viewer get something out of it without any text based interference.The following explanation may now annoy you:Royal - A religious saga where the bone of righteousness offers you a once in a life time chance to fight the evil hordes.Stay on the path of justice and freedom for all decent thinking beings,and you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams!
Hahaha I think in regards to your explanations, it's good that they exist, but better that you don't specifially link it your work, as you've with your intention, I think that if you physically attached that description to the work it would be alot more open to criticism- but when just left as it is can be seen as humorous and quite fresh...and that's certainly enough of the praise for you I think, haha unless I get some on mine, I'll bargain you a compliment for a compliment! haha
The narrative works in small inbits, i sort of understand whats going on in the first few pages but on a whole it puzzles me. Thats not a bad thing, i enjoy looking at the small pieces of sequential stuff. I suppose me not understanding it made me draw my own conclusion to whats going on and makes it more absorbing. I think the consistency is a bit all over the place, some things have this detailed texture and others are just linear. Have you used this technique on purpose?
The top panel of the 3rd page shown here keeps bugging me. It's the hand inside the white area around the bone I think it draws too much attention to itself and looks out of place especially when the beardy guy is in much the same pose but only has one hand. To me it kind of throws off the symmetry between the top and bottom panel. If you squint at it the top bone blends in too much just because of the hand.
Thanks guys! lots to think about - I changed the hand on that 3rd page! Good call Tom!Royal is a real fun way of exploring both storytelling and drawing, so the line quality may change slightly :)
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