Sunday, 6 December 2009

Dream (complete version)



















Ok so this was like a mamoth story to do so I'm just glad it's done at the moment without looking at it critically. There are various things I want to improve such as the type 'gateway' - for which there's obviously a week left to do this!
For publsihing reasons I may cut the 3rd page as it doesn't really contribute to the overall narrative other than adding antisipation and atmosphere, this would also make it a nice even 10 pages instead of 11.
If you could let me know what you think that would be great, thanks!
P.S. chiu have a great hol and xmas!!!

4 comments:

myeyeisonfire said...

Hi Ed! Wish you a good xmas too!

Okay, sorry but this may upset you, but I would rather you shorten the page lengths and up the quality even more.

Did you see the Kit Williams programme that was posted by Jess on the picture book forum:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00p5wpv/sign/The_Man_Behind_the_Masquerade/

it would give you loads of ideas on how you can improve even further your process - like kit your work demands a lot of reference material and creative ways of composing these into great panels - at the moment it some of the scenes are not particularly well drawn - how can one say this - well unfortunately when you leave wide areas of space to show contrast, one will look with unforgiving scrutiny at the subject in that space, and if it's not wonderfully drawn it will not bode well with the critics.

I would like you to step up the quality of your work, which means thinking about how you refine your process even more - and again some really uncomfortable alignments with subject matters.

Perhaps that programme has made me hyper critical, but perhaps you need that to go to the next level

Jess the Mess said...

Hey Ed,

Your stuff is looking better and better but I'm with Chiu...whilst the spacing does create some sense of anticipation you could easily shorten the story and tighten the pages you have left.

You should definately check out Kit Williams and go by his example...If you can, look into getting someone to pose for you. It wouldn't have to be a paid model, perhaps just a friend or another student. Photograph them in the poses and it'll make it alot easier to work on your image...It's one of the reasons I'm glad I never try to be photo realistic because it does take alot more effort on your part! It's still impressive how far you've come but unfortunately with this style of illustration it's all about practice practice practice and even then chances are you'll still need strong referance o.o

I think perhaps the spread with the what do you fear part could be shortened or made more visually arresting...It's not as strong as the others and the general emptiness of the panels mean most people would like skim it rather than really pausing to look at your images. It'd also mean you could probably shorten the whole thing abit!

Ed said...

thanks for the feedback guys, I appreciate it.

I've gone back over the whole story and have made some significant changes to it by cutting sum of the less 'well drawn/interesting panels' in order to move the story on and maintain a better overall quality.

Yea I completely agree with you Jess, I do use photographic references for everything but as you say it is 'still' very hard to do because of my particular style.

I will definately look at Kit!!!

myeyeisonfire said...

Ed! Using photographic references is not enough - it's which reference do you take and select to draw that is the key - otherwise it would be too easy - the kit williams film will show him going through tons of images, and eventually makign very elaborate set ups, just so that he can take "that perfect shot"

Your way of working is definately heading towards that, but as I would expect you have your lapses